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How to Become a Great Lover
By zenshine | June 6, 2008
As promised in my last post, this is the first post in a new series about becoming a better lover when it comes to sexual performance and techniques. In this first post I wanted to cover a major psychological barrier that keeps some men from even being able to become a better lover.
How to Become a Great Lover
While most men will say that they want to become a better lover, they likely do not have a clear idea of what a great lover is. What really makes women brag to their girlfriends about how great you are?
It may seem trivial, but becoming a better listener is key. Women really need to feel a bond of communication with their partner. Communication, more than anything, will make a woman relaxed with her partner and feel close to them. Really listening to her will make her feel special rather than just an object of sexual desire.
Truly great lovers truly love women. I don’t mean in a purely sexual sense, I mean that while plenty of men make jokes about women and never make real friends with any, great lovers can make women feel truly liked. If you don’t have any female friends, now might be the time to make some. Get to know and understand women, build trust in a friendship with one and you’ll understand a lot more about how to build a connection with one you intend to make your lover.
When it comes to physical contact with a woman, take your time and be gentle. Don’t just rush through the kissing, foreplay and into the sex. Take your time with kissing and touching her and she’ll be more relaxed and more open to sex. Men become aroused a lot faster than women, so you’ll have to exercise a little patience but it will definitely be worth it.
A great lover will know the female body well. Women have many erogenous zones that can be stimulated such as kissing and gently biting the nape of the neck. The next post in this series will cover erogenous zones exclusively.
Pay close attention during sex to the sounds that your lover makes or if she makes no sound at all. If your lady is not the type that makes much sound, or she isn’t comfortable enough to begin making any sound, pay attention to her breathing. What makes her breathe heavier? What makes her gasp for air? A lover that is attentive to her reactions will easily be able to tell what she likes or does not like and can respond accordingly.
Don’t just stick your penis into her and hammer away. Take your time with this too and don’t stop speaking softly to her or touching her. Performing sexually as if you have a goal - to get off - rather than sharing an experience with her will likely turn her off. She’ll remember it afterward and she may not orgasm as a result of feeling like a tool for your satisfaction.
Next time you’re with a woman that you’re interested in, truly listen to her. Make her feel like you’re genuinely interested in her and really get to know her. Don’t focus on a goal such as ending up having sex with her. Enjoy her company and stay in the moment. Don’t rush. Make her feel special and she’ll enjoy being with you - this is the true first step to becoming a great lover.
Topics: Sexual Performance and Techniques |
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